Battered and Bruised

I had no idea babies were bullies. Every day (and night!) they mercilessly pull, push, pinch and pound on me with their little hands and bodies. The most painful is the death grip they use on my hair. I have tried wearing it pulled back, but it doesn't matter. Their little hands still find a way to clasp on and pull out chunks. Baby Boy D. likes to use my legs as a gnawing block (is he a rodent?) and both babies use their tiny nails to scratch, scratch, scratch. Baby Girl M. has taken to flailing and kicking in excitement when she's in her high chair. I always receive a few good jabs to the chest while feeding her.

I am a living jungle gym by day and a punching bag by night. Around 2 AM this morning I was holding Baby Girl M. in bed, trying to get her settled. She actually made me cry when she leaned on my windpipe causing me to choke and head-butted me twice, once in the nose. (She was trying to get on her hands and knees to rock back and forth. She just learned how to do this and I read that when babies learn a new skill they have trouble sleeping because they want to practice.)

I might have to put a "Beware of the Babies" sign on the front door.