Sunday, February 7, 2010

500 Babies Go to the Rodeo

An outing to the rodeo is one of the best ways to spend an early February afternoon.  But it's not always easy.  This is the 500 Babies' Guide to Surviving the Rodeo:
Step 1:  Your mom will probably want to take a picture of you in your cute rodeo outfits before you leave. (By "cute rodeo outfits", we don't mean cowboy boots and cowboy hats.  "Cute rodeo outfits" in our house mean plaid shirts.)  Anyway, back to that photo.  Please make sure she doesn't force you to stand in the blinding light of the sun, like this:

Suggest the OTHER side of the house, in the shade, like this:

Much better! (You can still squint if you want too.  It makes you look cool and aloof.)

Step 2:  Once you get to the rodeo grounds, you will be assaulted by the tempting aromas of all sorts of rodeo food: Turkey Legs, Funnel Cakes, Chicken Fried Bacon, and Fried PB&J Sandwiches.  Unfortunately, to feed the 500 Babies at the rodeo would cost and entire week's worth of grocery money.  So tell your mom to make tuna sandwiches and you'll be fine.  Remember to pray before you eat:
Then dig in!
Step 3:  All that eatin' will surely make you thirsty.  Hopefully your mom packed juice bags as a treat.  Make sure you drink every last drop!

(Some of us just love juice so much, we get a little upset when it's all gone.)
Step 4:  Please wipe your hands and face when you are finished eating. 
Cleanliness is important.  Especially when you're sitting on a bench with a message from your friendly local government instructing you on how to sneeze! :)
Step 5:  Of course the main reason we're at the rodeo is to see the animals!  So have fun and don't stick your finger in the pens. 
And don't let your mom take a picture of you in front of a sign that says "TURKEYS".  (She thinks she's soooo funny.)
Finally, we all know the real reason some of us guys go to the rodeo is to meet CHICKS!

But if you want to look cool for the ladies, make sure your mom dresses you in pants that actually fit.  It doesn't look too smooth to be holding up your pants everywhere you go!